Went to see counsellor last week

Wow I can't believe almost three weeks have gone by without my posting on here. I do have news to report. Last Thursday I went to see the counsellor recommended by my clinic, ACU. She was a temporary one as their regular one was on holiday. She was very emphatic that she was an independent counsellor rather than one pushing the clinic's point of view. I was nervous as I was expecting someone to be confrontational (in a way meant to challenge me and think about my answers) and play devils advocate - I imagined someone wagging their finger at me and saying "DON'T YOU THINK YOUR CHILD DESERVES A FATHER!?" but she could not have been anything less like that.

I have been thinking this through for a while now so I don't think there was anything major I had not thought of. However there was some food for thought:

• In choosing my clinic, I just Googled the phrase I thought appropriate, and chose the clinic I thought sounded most reputable. I did not know there was a government-issued guidebook to fertility clinics. I have ordered my free one from the HFEA here. I should look up the live birth rates (not pregnancy rates as they are not indicative) and compare the clinics. Seems like there are more of them than I thought.
  
• National Infertility Day looks like a useful day to go on (although hopefully - I am not infertile!)
• I am really quite foggy about the tests the clinic are going to do on me after I have done the blood tests at my GP. I did expect to receive some literature on this when I visited the clinic for my initial consultation, but was not given anything that I had not already received in the post. I know its something like checking my tubes are not blocked, and maybe xraying my uterus, but that's about it. I should call up the clinic and ask for further explanations.
• Going to a sperm bank in the US should not be an option as they don't have donor anonymity laws - my child would never be able to find out the identity of their father, if they chose to. I must admit I had not thought this option through this far.

I seemed to have passed the "test", if there was one. I do wonder if clinics check customers backgrounds at all. I mean - I'm sure I give the impression that I'm a normal and stable person, and I say that I'm a home-owner, with a supportive family. But how do they know that? How do they know that I'm not some fantasist living in some shared rented house with a family who has no idea what I'm up to? I think they should somehow check these things out before agreeing to giving me treatment.

Other news - Emily at the Donor Conception Network has been sending me a lot of useful-looking links and info. I have been a bit slack recently and haven't looked at them all properly.

My Dad said at the weekend about a childhood friend (and exact contemporary) of mine that her father (who he knows) is looking forward to becoming a grandfather for the first time - "after all this time". Not sure if he realised he said that - I did not react.

Donor Conception Network

Not much news to report here yet. Next step is for me to contact my GP and organise these tests, or call up the clinic's counsellor and arrange counselling. I don't feel as there is any great rush, especially as I need some time to get used to the idea of donor insemination, and read up about it.

I joined the Donor Conception Network last week, they have sent me some useful info in the post to chew over, and apparently their single parent co-ordinator will get in touch with me shortly. That will be very interesting to talk with women who have already done this.

A friend of mine has a gay friend who would like children; she is arranging for me to meet up with him to talk about it. As I've said, I'm not convinced about the idea at all anymore, but I am open to the idea of discussing it with someone else who is interested.

I am also thinking about returning to university and doing a MA at the moment. If, when I have more information about how fertile I am or not, it turns out that I have a plentiful supply of eggs/ good few years left in me yet, I might apply for 2009 entry. If I had better hurry up, I will put that on hold until an appropriate time later on.

Must be nice to be a man! Can have kids whenever you feel like it without all this planning! Lucky bastards.....